Bad dog

Her words not mine. I must admit though, I have been pretty bad today. First the she boss found an unmentionable something on the decking that I'd should no way have put there. I tried to tell her that it was because I'd been too scared to go down the garden by myself in the dark with all the flashy bangy things. Besides which, it was raining.
Next was what is in the picture. The she boss brought this back all the way from Swaziland when she went with that Beth a while back. I don't know why I decided to see what it was made of today and not ages ago. She said it didn't cost much but she brought it back especially for the he boss cos she knew he'd like it.
Just to finish it all off, I found something really nice smelling in the garden so I used it for my perfume. I really don't understand what the fuss is about except it was a bit gooey on my nice shiny coat. What is it with these people? I think it had something to do with the she boss being about to take me out in the car. She was pretty rough with me when she scrubbed it off so I kept away from her for a while.