Bad dog

Her words not mine. I must admit though, I have been pretty bad today. First the she boss found an unmentionable something on the decking that I'd should no way have put there. I tried to tell her that it was because I'd been too scared to go down the garden by myself in the dark with all the flashy bangy things. Besides which, it was raining.
Next was what is in the picture. The she boss brought this back all the way from Swaziland when she went with that Beth a while back. I don't know why I decided to see what it was made of today and not ages ago. She said it didn't cost much but she brought it back especially for the he boss cos she knew he'd like it.
Just to finish it all off, I found something really nice smelling in the garden so I used it for my perfume. I really don't understand what the fuss is about except it was a bit gooey on my nice shiny coat. What is it with these people? I think it had something to do with the she boss being about to take me out in the car. She was pretty rough with me when she scrubbed it off so I kept away from her for a while.

In trouble again

Something's not right and I don't understand it at all. The she boss keeps going to sleep here, there and everywhere. She's not playing with me when I ask either. It's not like her at all. I hope she gets back to normal soon. They all forgot to feed me this morning. Beth's been here this week and she's been remembering but I think she was in a hurry today. That's the trouble with having black fur. No one notices you're there although I do my best to make my presence known.
Tonight the he and she boss had eaten dinner and then left one for me on the table. I'm never allowed to eat until they've finished and I know they always feed me out by my bed but I assumed this one was for me to make up for the morning especially as it was so nice. I must have got something wrong as I seem to be in real trouble. I sat up nicely at the table to eat it. Maybe it was because I didn't bother with the knife and fork they left me. I wasn't too sure about drinking my water out of the narrow glass either

No one understands me :(

I've just been for a trip to the shop and a walk on the way back with the she boss. It was spooky so after I'd done what I needed to, I went back to the car to wait for her. I seem to be in trouble. I think it might have something to do with the cars that stopped to have a look at me while I was waiting for her. Perhaps I should have waited on the side where I get in instead of in the road where she gets in. If she'd have left it open for me in the first place, I could have had a go at getting myself in while I was waiting for her.
I feel much safer in the car or the house or in my own garden. Why doesn't anyone understand it can be a scary world out there?