Favourite perfumes

Today must be one of the worst day's of my life so far. It all started off so well. Me and she boss did some chilling about the house. She was doing some funny moves cos she'd got something in her ears. That always happens when she puts that wire in. It makes sense to me that if something has that effect, just don't do it but she won't listen will she. She seems happy with it anyway.
That was not the bad bit. We went for a pretty good walk over in my field and I found the best perfume I've ever smelt. It was fantastic so I put plenty behind my ears while we were there.
When we came back home, I could see the she boss was looking for something. She was looking round the floor everywhere and even the bottom of her slippers and boots. Then she saw me. I should have rubbed it in better cos I think it was still a bit brown and sticky. I must remember next time.
At least it wasn't a full shower but it was a lot more undignified. She got a big bowl of neutralising soapy water and once she'd scrubbed me all round my neck with that she THREW, yes THREW a whole bucket of water over my head!! The picture doesn't do justice for just how bad it was for me. And she said I should be grateful it wasn't cold!!
And she said I was disgusting. Not even that the smell was disgusting. That's not good psychology is it? Does she know what damage she can do to a dog's self esteem? All because she didn't like my taste in perfume. I'm not keen on hers either but I don't make her go and wash it off do I?
I wonder when I'll be able to get over the field again for some more. Must rub it in. Must rub it in. Must rub it in ........